My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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