***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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