You made me cry and you don't even care
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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