you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
