Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
