How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
