the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
A+ Viking dick
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
