you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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