Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
