have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Randomize
