it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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