Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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