your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
