dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
