yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
