I want to have your abortion
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
