My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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