your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
