so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
