I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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