Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
