my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
