party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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