well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
