Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
we're making bets on your personal life
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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