Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Blood and glitter go together right?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
