y did u give ur computer a hand job?
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
