I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
