I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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