Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
