Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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