Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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