Can Purell be used as lube?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
