..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
