to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
