I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
