i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
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