I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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