I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
She needs sedatives and a leash
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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