Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
