just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
