Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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