"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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