Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
