dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Holy sore nipples Batman
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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