So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
We were destined to go to rehab together
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
