Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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