Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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