Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I have feelings that need drinking.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Randomize
