Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I can't turn off my feet"
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Randomize
