By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
