Duck Duck Cougar?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
