You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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