If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
